Kyoko Hamada, I Used To Be You
I’ve always appreciated the intelligence and whimsy of Kyoko Hamada’s work but her monograph I Used To Be You brings an added depth to her photography - it’s now soulful as well. The book is a series of self-portraits shot around New York as a fictitious character, Kikuchiyo-san, 40-years her senior.
I had the pleasure of interviewing this old friend of mine (pardon the pun) about this exciting project.
This is your first book, right? Was it worth it?
Yes! Because when you put it into a book, it becomes an object, and I feel like finally I can just put a lid over it. It remains - the book exists now - which means a lot to me.
How closely do you connect yourself to the character? On some level, when you make any portrait, it’s you. This is now it’s a portrait with you playing the role, you dressing up.
Simply walking around town or being at some location and she’s enjoying the moment, that’s me. And, the locations I picked are also somewhere that I personally like to go. In some way, in my mind, it was little bit of a tribute to New York City. I’ve been here for a long time, and it’s nice to see the places as I look at the pictures.
The things that are not like me…I won’t necessarily be wearing the kind of clothes that she chose to wear, it was kind of like my fantasy of her. The choice of clothes, I think I now I have a question mark about - some fashion-oriented people seemed a little offended or something. Or maybe it’s in my paranoia mind.
What’s your perception of it?
I dressed her in thrift store found clothes, and I didn’t mean to imply that when you get old you have to dress like that…I don’t mean that at all. It was just some kind of fantasy about that specific character.
But people didn’t perceive that, and I think it’s also we live in a culture where consumerism promotes the new fashion.
Where did you get the idea to do Kickstarter for the book?
Nicola Schwartz of Pocko just called me out of the blue, “Okay, we need to raise money, are you comfortable doing Kickstarter?” And I said no, and then he said, “I’m going to ask you, you gotta do it.” (Laughter) I said, “I’m thrilled that you’re thinking about turning the project into a book, but that sounds like the least thing I would love to do. I got a knot in my stomach when I heard the word “Kickstarter.”
I thought that the KS video was very good.
He wanted us to have a video by the end of that week! (Laughter) So right away I just called up a friend who’s a video guy and we talked about what we could do to make it work. It felt really out of my character, to be honest.
But it worked well, because you addressed your discomfort in the video.
When you were out shooting the project in full make up and costume did you get any funny reactions from people?
When they don’t realize that I’m wearing make-up, or think that I’m just an elder person, they won’t even look at you, really. It’s funny, sometimes when you’re walking down the street, I guess I realized how much of the unspoken eye contact we do. Even with women, checking out of each others fashion or something, like, “Oh love those shoes,” that kind of thing.
Did people notice that you were wearing special make-up when you started taking pictures?
Well, in the summertime it’s just running around, dragging this suitcase full of clothes and a camera, and you do sweat, and the latex starts bubbling.
Do people actually respond?
They’ll be staring at you.
Has doing this project prepared you for getting old?
It’s certainly made me think about it, and I now how sensitive this subject matter is. At the time, I just did it because I wanted to do it, I don’t know why, but I really wanted to do it.
Are there a lot of older Japanese people in New York?
Yeah, yeah. I’ve actually have been, have taken a ikebana class. It’s a Japanese flower arranging sort of thing.
In a sense you’ve embraced your inner old person.
Ikebana is not for old person! There you go, I caught you! It’s not for old person.
What’s the average age for that class?
Okay, it’s older. (Chuckling)
I’m not the one to even talk about it because I’m just learning right now, but it’s kind of deep what they’re trying…you’re make that face!
No. Arranging flowers is very difficult.
It’s very difficult!
I have a serious question for you - are you going to be alone when you’re old?
I don’t know. I mean, I’m with my husband and my son right now. This is still a fresh idea to me, I wake up in the morning and sometimes I’m just like, “Oh my god, there’s these people here that I live with and I really care about them and I love them, but wow how did I get here.” Because I think I spent so many years just being on my own that’s my comfort zone.
So I’m still like, “Why are there just people around, I’m home and there are people around.” (Chuckling) But also there’s something tells me it’s a good thing to do, so I am choosing to do the family thing.
Images: top three images by Kyoko Hamada, from “I Used To Be You.” Bottom image is a bts shot of Kyoko beginning the process of becoming the book’s character, Kikuchiyo-san.
